My take on life, filled with interesting rants, amusing anecdotes and outrageous stories. Because I can. Please don't enjoy your stay, and let the virus hit you on the way out.
I'm doubting all my regular decision apps. I'm fairly sure my deferral is a long long road to rejection. I'm beginning to regret applying in the first place--did I honestly think I had a shot??
This is the poem that I started working on at 1:40 monday morning, then got a reception of "creative, deep and beautiful" or something to that effect. Ugh...Spanish class.
I don't know if it even makes sense.
Baila en el borde de sus pensamientos Constantemente, burla su determinación “Ven aquí” el susurra “Se que tu desea” Pero sabes que no puedes escuchar
Siempre esta en su conciencia Coerce tu a los pecados “Jugar con nosotros” los pecados piden “Será muy divertido!” Pero sabes que no puedes escuchar
Siempre esta creciendo Cada vez, mas difícil de ignorar “Estás rompiendo!” el Alegó “Poco a poco, estamos ganando” Pero sabes que no puedes escuchar
Finalmente, es demasiado fuerte Tentación, no más débil “Por fin, por fin!” Se cacareó “Ahora no hay escape” Y sabía que tenía que escuchar
If you don't know what it means, google translate it if you care and you'll get a fairly accurate idea....considering that's how I did it in the first place!
Me: how are you gonna break Her: hmm Her: hammer to the forearm? Me: that sounds interesting but ultimately rather uninspired Her: oh Her: im sorry i can't be more creative Me: mmhm Me: forexmaple Me: you will go ice skating Me: and you decide to be daring and stay in there after hours Me: and then as you finish a perfect triple toe loop you trip on a bump in the ice Me: a zamboni revvvs out of no where Me: and comes speeding across the ice far too quickly for you Me: but you manage to grasp onto a rope that just happened to be dangling from the wall of the rink Me: and you PULL! as hard as you can Me: and manage to avoid the zamboni almost completely Me: only the big toe which you tragically dislocated on your trip and was thus a bit longer than usual Me: was ran over and mangled by that rampant zamboni Her: LOL Me: then the zamboni was stopped by your feral scream and you pulled yourself to safety Her: hm Her: interesting
Saint Aquinas's theory of God, *simplified*, is as follows:
Everything has a cause, and nothing can cause itself, because that would require that object pre-existing itself. If one extends the notion of every object having a cause infinitely, it obviously doesn't work. Thus, there has to be an initial cause, eternal in nature. That cause created everything else, at least indirectly. That cause, we call God.
He extends this same rationalization to things being in motion, etc.
"Scientific" exploration:
Let us take two things to be true: God exists The Laws of Thermodynamics
Let us look at the very beginning of the universe, according to Aquinas. All that would exist is this initial cause, that we refer to as God. It is evident that this is the most ordered state of the universe: there is only one being, and he is perfection. Perfect order exists. We know that according to the second law of thermodynamics, the entropy of the universe is always increasing. Thus, it is impossible for this perfectly ordered universe to be sustained-it must tend to disorder. It follows then that this God, this initial cause, must create. As he creates, more things are in existence in the universe, it is more spread out, more chaotic. This necessitates a continued creation, so as to increase disorder, so God or his creations must continue to create.
What this tells us about Aquinas's proof:
If it can be rationalized by science, then it is false, as theology and science do not mesh.
Notes: Yes, I'm aware this is complete bullshit. The premise doesn't really work and it's a ridiculous progression of logic. However, it is entertaining to consider :) Basically, this is a product of immense boredom.
College essays are by far the most irrational thing I have ever attempted to write. And this is after multiple years of submitting utter bullshit for lit essays.
The essence of the issue, as far as I understand it, is that we are attempting to convey our identity to a school, so that they may gain a deeper understanding of us. Instead of numbers, we are supposed to jump out of the page and form something more real. However, the essays are extremely contrived. How is it showing who we really are if the entire point, as far as the student sees it, is to make themselves stand out even more? Most everyone attempts to discuss their flaws in such a way that they show their own path to splendor, or else they take the other and equally as cliche route, in which they simply detail one of their true accomplishments. How does one judge a person when all they are presenting is their most intriguing, interesting sides as vetted by everyone under the sun they could get to read their essay?
"Oh! I know!" said the colleges. "We'll alleviate the contrived nature of the essay by having people interview with us. That will show us their true selves!" Except not. It's the same inane bullshit, tooting one's own horn for the purpose of engaging the interviewer. It is not a true representation of one's character, and I fail to see how colleges can even pretend that that is the case.
I'm not sure if this post is the product of a rational, logical thought process or whether it's merely me expressing my discontent with the strive for attention that is the college process, but regardless it is rather infuriating.
There's just so much to do this year. I already have legitimate homework assignments for nearly every class, as well as presentations and papers already assigned. I have quizbowl, which runs for a few hours every Thursday. I have karate, which is 2 hours on Sunday and ideally 2 hours twice during the week. Soon, I start riding with the local ambulance corps, probably a 6 hour shift once a week. Then, I have college apps.
Oh, and did I mention I'd like to see my friends occasionally?
I'll manage of course, but I can't see how the first half of this year is going to be anything better than hell....and I thought last year was hard. Hahaha.
I met her in a club down in old soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola [lp version: Coca-cola] C-o-l-a cola She walked up to me and she asked me to dance I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Well Im not the worlds most physical guy But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well Im not dumb but I cant understand Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Well we drank champagne and danced all night Under electric candlelight She picked me up and sat me on her knee And said dear boy wont you come home with me Well Im not the worlds most passionate guy But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
I pushed her away I walked to the door I fell to the floor I got down on my knees Then I looked at her and she at me
Well thats the way that I want it to stay And I always want it to be that way for my lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola Girls will be boys and boys will be girls Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Well I left home just a week before And Id never ever kissed a woman before But lola smiled and took me by the hand And said dear boy Im gonna make you a man
Well Im not the worlds most masculine man But I know what I am and Im glad Im a man And so is lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Is at once a most-welcome and most-infuriating thing.
Lately, I find myself staring at a computer screen between the hours of 2 and 5 am, wishing I could sleep. But there's an issue with that-I'm not tired. Why? Because I didn't sleep until 5 am the day before, of course! This is a rather aggravating cycle, brought upon myself via what amounts to fear. That is, fear of experiencing memories of some of the worst experiences I've been through. And despite my relatively young age, I can say that I've been through more traumatizing experiences than most my age. Said memories seem to take a gruesome delight in bombarding my consciousness while I dally in the dreary world between states of being awake and asleep. With such experiences awaiting me should I try and fall asleep, I generally spend my nights staring at a computer screen until I am 2 minutes from passing out, at which point I will gladly drift off. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen until far later than I should be sleeping.
Something is going to have to change...I have to be awake in about 9 hours, and then for the next five weeks I have to be out of the house at 8:40 Monday-Thursday for EMT training. So my options are down to confronting my memories or doing what I do through out the school year-working on a mere four to five hours of sleep, every single day. Sigh.
I'm currently enrolled in a magnet high school in New Jersey-It's quite the interesting place. In said school, a lot of things happen, some awesome, some funny and some that are pure bullshit. Oh well. It's pretty entertaining most of the time. I love classic rock, though I'm slowly being introduced into other types of music, including rap (which I previously thought that I hated). For fun, I read tons of books, play a myriad of instruments, browse the internet and watch a few select shows on TV. Or, read textbooks. I can be quite the nerd. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of free time, so I don't get to pursue those much. Mainly though, I pride myself on an apparent lack of morality, my sense of humor and my ability to be a very intelligent moron.
